Despite having someone to love, and being loved back, I feel like I have nothing to be happy about.

And that sort of feeling hurts me. I should be happy.

But I find it harder and harder every day. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to wake up any more. I'd rather lay in bed and sleep. Because at least when I dream, things happen.

I'm wasting my life away and I want to cry.

Don't know where to start to put myself back together.

I wish you were here.

I think I'm insanely nice to people.

So if I ask you to do something in my space, please do it. And if I have to ask you again, why haven't you done it? I asked nicely. If I pull you aside and whisper, and explain my personal situation and why you should so something to at least make me less uncomfortable (because I'm the host), do I really need to go that far? So if you say "No" and I say "I can't be around you when you're here because it causes me problems" and leave, instead of kicking you out, so you can stay and talk to others, did I have to go that far too?

I think I'm too nice. And the next time someone pisses me off after I've been nice, I'm gonna kick you the fuck out.

Mkthnx.

I've been pretty happy over all. (sighs joyfully)

Was on the phone with her for a while. :3 Wasn't too long because she had to move furniture. And that's where I am now x3 Just waiting around.

I went to see Padrino yesterday because he had surgery in his eye. He's perfectly fine though. If I hadn't know he had surgery, I wouldn't have had any idea! He's doing great.

We couldn't stay for dinner (kind of sad about that, because Ely was cooking!) but we took home some of her Tiramisu :hearts: Was so yummy. She's a great cook. And she's like the least girliest of the two, haha.

Today I was in PJs talking to Ash and my male cousins came over. I was like. A deer caught in headlights. Had to go off and entertain them until they left.

Hoping tomorrow I can get my hair cut. I've been dyyyying to cut it. I want to cut, and dye it later. We'll see what happens!

It's really hard hearing about your love's condition.

Really broke my heart. But I'll be there through it all, if I'm wanted by her side.

I know this isn't a fling.

I have so many things I wanna do with her. <3 (NOT IN THAT WAY .... or maybe?)

I'm about to write lists and stuff xD Ha. I can't afford to forget fun things we need to do together~ 

I love being her best friend. And being her love. (sighs happily)

Nothing to really go on about lately. Other than spending a lot of time with my honey. Went to the beach yesterday. Didn't get burned or anything. Was very exciting for me! :D I've never not been burned at the beach. I know that's a double negative. Whatevah!

Cousin locked my phone in the car at the beach. (anger) But I think I would have done it, too, if I were her....

In the mood for something sweet. Chocolate, maybe.

I'm prone to having really weird pregnancy dreams once in a while. This one really scared me. I woke up crying.

I dreamt you and I were together, and I was about eight months pregnant. We were waiting to get into this extremely fancy party. There was an argument, I ran off because I was so upset at you.

I started to go into labor. It hurt so bad. And I keep remembering that I knew something was wrong. I was alone, going in labor, our baby potentially in danger.

I've never been more fucking scared from a dream. I hate my fucking pregnancy dreams.

Yesterday was... Interesting. I also suck at describing things, too.

It was yuki_21's birthday so I was really hoping it would have been great.

I dealt with a lot of work related garbage. I'm just a VOLUNTEER worker at the company, guys. For goodness sakes. I have nothing to do with the actual servers. If they went down, contact the company owner directly. He's transparent enough where you can do that and he won't bite your head off. I have nothing to do with restarting, installing programs, etc. Just. A lowly. Ticket worker. Mkay? kthnx

Also dealt with crappy Twitter drama. I don't care who said what any more. Snapping at me won't make the situation better.

The best part of the night was when I called her <3 It was only for about five minutes because I didn't want to slow the flow of partying (aren't I considerate, haha). But it was just wonderful to be able to wish her a happy birthday and get to hear her voice. <3

Slept like a log. I hadn't slept so much in forever.</p>

I can die happy today.

I know I suck at the whole LJ updating thing. I really fail hard at it. Whatever! I don't care! Tonight has been wonderful!

I hope your birthday is a BLAST. You deserve so much more than a measly day to make you happy.

I feel like eating cheese right now. Like really dry cheese one eats with wine. Mmmmm.

I'm so, so, so happy I've found her! Texting back and forth every morning, waking her up has been part of my routine for a while now.

It's like we've been friends forever. (sighs) This is great.

Note to self though: Write more on LJ, you fool. You know you miss it.

Watching the Michael Jackson memorial on the TV right now. Quincy Jones singing and playing at the piano. Rest in peace, Michael. You definitely deserve it.

I think I've found like. The most awesome person ever. EVER.

Only wish I was in Cali instead of Florida.

little-android.net is available for sale, guys. I’m offering it at $7. Please comment here with your EMAIL so I can chat with you privately, if you’re interested.

I just don’t like the domain anymore. So I was really uninspired to do anything with it.

I'm on Skype! If you wanna contact me (dunno who would, but you never konw!) post a comment and I'll send you my Skype.

I'm pretty sure I've written a post like this before?

Please leave a comment with a link (or links) to other LJs / sites that show how to help an idiot create a custom LJ theme using S2. I hate that I can't even afford LJ! I miss my S1. Even though it's deprecated and whathaveyou. Don't care, it was still easy for me!

So, links to S2 guides and how-to-make-your-first-S2-theme would help! Thanks!

Just dropping by to say I'm still alive. Anyone remember me? XD

Comcast can kiss my ass.

Will be looking for new internet provider very soon.

You can listen to me sing (I'm not that bad in person, the microphone couldn't capture the awesomeoness?) and embarrass myself on Youtube!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=u7BLj7u9xBI

So after much thinking over, I asked my brother to make a new character slot for me in Final Fantasy XI. It's only a dollar so why not?

Opened the Play Online client, got lost for a while, finally loaded the game.

He has three characters. Two are identical except in name.

Was one of those two supposed to be for me? Or should I have created a new character?

If I create a new character would he be billed for the one dollar fee again?

Jesus. I couldn't even create a character in the game. Not a good impression so far!

So as you all know, the night is for the young.

My mom woke up at one in the morning and is still awake (it's roughly three in the morning now). This, for me, has been the strangest experience in a while. I walk into my bedroom to attempt to sleep at an earlier hour and there she is, cleaning the dust off my Aerith statue.

Of course life is funny and even when she left to attempt to sleep (still awake, I must remind you) I can't fall asleep. So here I am, typing away at my Livejournal.

And in case you guys forgot, this is Ushichan. Yay, rename tokens. More expensive than my domain.

BY THE WAY... Does anyone know how to change the Friends link to show a filtered page? I want to see just my actual friends, not the communities I've joined that post a billion times a day.

I know how to filter it, but I don't know how to actually place it on the layout above so it doesn't link directly to /friends, get me?

A SECOND THING Is there any way to move the moods above my post instead of below it? I hate that it's below the post.

I'm on a paid LJ using S2, all help appreciated!

Wahoo!

This is originally ushichan@livejournal.com but I purchased marionnette@livejournal.com!

I LOVE the name. =D

Now with a new name, I suppose would be a better start!

I'm sorry for abandoning you, Livejournal. Sorry for abandoning my friends here.

I really don't have an excuse. Not like my life was so thrilling and exhausting that I couldn't wander over to LJ. My life is boring and simple and I'm just lazy.

I'll try harder to be on LJ. I really like my LJ and the people here. I might not agree with what SixApart is doing at times but eh. What commercial ruler doesn't have problems, you know?

I digress.

Making more of an effort starting now. Yes, now.